The Sweetness of Self Love


Self love! Self love! Self love! That is what I am trying to preach :)

How often do you accomplish something purely for YOU without feeling selfish? Are you able to give yourself a break if a mistake is made or things do not go as planned? 

We are our worst critiques. Often living purely to fulfill request of others. Obligations, to-do lists consuming the weeks, months and years. Particularly during the holiday season. Life is so sweetly short, flashing before our eyes. Although it is always beautiful to serve others, how can we fully serve our loved ones if we cannot serve ourselves? We must begin by pouring self love into our cups…

There is a remarkable TED talk by Mel Robbins that I am often reminded of. Mel, a renowned self-help author and life coach, discusses how scientists calculated the probability of our existence. The probability of you being you, today, is around one in 400 trillion. YES! That is 12 zeros! What a beautiful miracle we are. 

We are all uniquely, unequivocally different human beings. Each with our own strengths, weaknesses, experiences and journeys. If you think about it in that magnitude, wow, it is pretty incredible. 

So, why is it hard for us to embrace our beings? Often, we are caught comparing ourselves to others, forgetting how much of a miracle our birth was in the first place.

I sadly can admit that for a large portion of my life, I did not even associate with Lauren. Walking around in a body and never feeling, loving, or appreciating it. Searching for external satisfactions that were never fulfilling. I lacked the understanding to realize I was enough, that everything I could want and need in life was already within me. I just had to start paying attention to it.

I can clearly remember my first glimpse at self love. I had completed my first Reiki training and was challenged to complete 30 hours of self-healing. Self-healing included a protocol where I placed my hands on each of the seven main chakras (energy centers) in the body. Through this practice I was trained to actually FEEL my body. Reorienting with being. This was radical. I had never actually focused on myself before. Learning to look inward to find answers instead of through my external activities. I began to listen to the quiet voice in my mind and feel the heat, pulsations or vibrations under my hands. A massive shift began to occur. My energy doubled, impulsive behaviors faded, self love shined through. A feeling of liberation overwhelmed me, I became unattached to labels. No longer defining myself through my job, relationships, or even through yoga. I was simply a being, an extraordinary miracle. For the first time I learned that by paying attention to my true self, I could produce positive changes in my life. I literally had the ability to alter my reality, my day-to-day happiness. 

Since this moment, self love has been an everyday practice...and just like everything else, it has taken time, patience and persistence. I started to try to understand the root of my decisions. Was I making choices for myself or to appease others? I also created self love rituals, a little time each week to do something just for me. Carving out a moment to light a candle, sip a cup of tea, go on a hike, take a yoga class, read a few pages of my favorite book, or to simply smile. 

The Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, so eloquently describes love as; “The capacity to take care, to protect to nourish. If you are not capable of generating this kind of energy towards yourself, it is very difficult to take care of another person.” 

Love is taking care of YOU. Being compassionate and nonjudgmental towards yourself. You are worthy and capable of your own love. In return, that self love will fill others with more love and energy than you ever imagined.

It is so easy for us to get caught up, spinning like a top in the fast-paced flow of life. However, during times like this, can we challenge ourselves to self-love even more. To look inward and to ground, avoiding the vortex that so easily pulls us away. 

A good test of this is by asking, would you treat your family or your friends the way you treat yourself? As long as we love ourselves and listen, our true light will guide us in the right direction. Let go of comparison, remember the beauty of being born into YOU. The odds were against you. So keep persisting. Life is already demanding, we reap no benefits by making it harder.

If you did not write your second blog post as quickly as you had hoped, let go ;) Be kind to yourself. 

So I challenge you right now, can you sit there and say to yourself out loud, “Hey, your name, I love you! 

If you are unable, if you feel uncomfortable, what does that tell you? Can you not judge it and move forward. Knowing that you are only human, each day is a challenge and each day takes effort and a lot of love.